So, today was a totally a "Wow, God!" kind of day. For those who need further explanation, that means all I could do was say, "Wow, God!" :)
I'm not even sure my words will do justice to the emotions I felt today, but I'm going to try.
First of all, church was exactly what I needed today. God spoke to my heart in several ways, and I had some great fellowship with some fellow believers and friends and the promise of more of that same fellowship in the days ahead. Sometimes I just get so weary and spending time with close friends and believers is just something I crave. I'm in that sort of season right now, and this morning was refreshing to my soul.
So, Andrew and I got in the truck and headed to his parents' house for our weekly Sunday afternoon lunch with them. Which I look so forward to! (Just a side note, its an amazing blessing to have amazing in-laws! So, thankful for them.) As we were driving, Andrew told me that some good friends of ours, an amazing couple in our church had given him a check for our adoption fund. They mentioned that they had been blessed with a nice income tax return and wanted to donate to our adoption fund. He said, I haven't looked at it yet, but its in my Bible. Just the news that someone had made an unexpected donation, caused the tears to start flowing. You see, and here is where I'm completely honest and ashamed to admit, that I've been battling the big doubts lately. The thoughts like, "There is no way on earth we are ever going to be able to raise the amount of money we need." I hate that sometimes my faith is so little and weak, but I'm extremely thankful that my Father in Heaven, continually reminds me to trust in Him. Deep down, I know He can do it, but I get so overwhelmed at times when I look at the big picture! So, I reached around and pulled out his Bible to look at the check, and was shocked! It was written out for a very significant amount! The tears immediately got heavier, and I think I cried almost the whole way home. I was just so overwhelmed by the generosity and compassion of this couple. I know for a fact, they had other things they could have used this money for, (Don't we all?) I am humbled and in awe of the way this couple allowed God to work through them. I just pray that I will always be open to being used as He has used them in my life. Their gift today, means more than just an addition to our fund, although that in and of it self is appreciated, it was a refresher to a weary heart. A heart that is trying so very hard to cling to God's promises and trust and live by faith that God will make a way, but also struggles with being human and becoming overcome by the doubts and pain of this journey. My prayer is that I will always be open to the lessons God is teaching me through this journey. That in the end, our story will be full of "Wow, God!" moments that others will see, that we can share with our children one day, and that we will always share with others to bring honor and glory to our Great God! This is the story He is writing for our lives. This is the purpose and the plan He has for us. In the moments when I don't understand or I am trying to wish it all away, I pray that I'll remember this verse: "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ." I Peter 1:6-7
I have tried to respect the privacy of our freinds, in this post, and I hope that I have; but it was too big of a moment in our journey not to record it and I wanted to say to them, "From the bottom of our hearts, Thank You, Friends!"
Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Long over due update!
Okay, so when you have to reset your password because you can't remember the old one you have definate proof that its been way too long since you blogged! :)
When we began this adoption journey, we committed to always being open to "a change of direction" if we felt the Lord leading us to a different path than the one we started down. We have found, that is a very hard thing to do; however, it is also very rewarding. I think it is hard for several reasons, one, because you get your head and heart set on something and you don't want to give it up. Two, because you start to doubt yourself, "well, we thought this was the right path, now we feel it isn't, what if that happens again?" Third, we let ourselves get wrapped up in what others around us might think. "Well, we've already said this is what we are doing. What if they (everyone involved in your life) think we are making the wrong decision." We've come to realize, God's way is always best and He is the One we should be concerned with, not everyone around us.
During December and January, Andrew and I both began to realize that we didn't seem to have a true peace about the path to Ethiopia. We wanted to do it, we saw the need and wanted to say this is the way we need to go, but we just couldn't take the next step. When you want to do something so badly and you can't find the strength or courage to move forward, I think that is a huge red flag. (I'm not just talking about fear, either, because I think fear is a constant in any area of adoption. You can have peace in the midst of fear, but when that peace isn't there, that is when, I think you need to start seeking and see if this is really the path God has for you.) We continued to pray about it and talk about it and we finally realized that there were things about the Ethiopia process that we felt just wasn't for us. We still think there is a HUGE need in Ethiopia, and we are still praying for the precious orphans there!
So, you may be asking, what is the new plan? Well, it really isn't that new, its actually the original plan that started all of this in motion to begin with. Many of you know that about 7 years ago I spent some time in an orphanage in China. It was those 2 amazingly heartbreaking weeks that started the adoption seed growing in my heart. When Andrew and I first talked about adoption, while we were dating, it was specifically China that we talked about and the seed began to take root in his heart as well. However, one of the qualifications to adopt from China is, you must be 30. My amazing husband, isn't quite there. :) So, we thought, we'll adopt from somewhere else, first, and then adopt from China when we adopt the 2nd time. Well, what we've realized is that its going to take us a while to raise the funds to be able to afford this adoption journey. By the time we have raised the money, it will more than likely be close enough to time to start the paperwork. So, after much prayer and consideration, we decided to just continue to raise the money we need, and move forward with China when the time is right.
There is a 2nd part of this decision. It is the decision to step way outside of our comfort zone and really put our faith where our actions are. We have always said, "I don't think I could ever do foster care. It would be too hard if you have to give them up." Well, we felt that God was working on our hearts in this area as well. As if He was asking us, do you really trust me, do you really trust my sovereignty? This is something I will probably write a completely different blog about in the near future, because all of a sudden God has given me this passion about being willing to lay aside your fears and worries about being hurt, in order to help someone who is already hurting, through no fault of their own. Why is it okay for us to say, "I can't do that, it'll hurt too much" when their are babies and children out there that just need to be loved and they have no control over their circumstances. Anyway, I'll expound more on that later, just know its something that has taken very deep root in my heart.
So, basically, our new plan is two fold, one for the future and one for the present. Right now, we are starting the process to do foster-to-adopt. When Andrew turns 30, Lord willing, we will begin our journey to China. After the last several months, I know that we really never know what the future may hold. Our job is just to be open to where He is leading us.
Through the foster-to-adopt program, we could have a baby placed in our home in less than 4 months! That has us very excited, and very, very, busy!!
When we began this adoption journey, we committed to always being open to "a change of direction" if we felt the Lord leading us to a different path than the one we started down. We have found, that is a very hard thing to do; however, it is also very rewarding. I think it is hard for several reasons, one, because you get your head and heart set on something and you don't want to give it up. Two, because you start to doubt yourself, "well, we thought this was the right path, now we feel it isn't, what if that happens again?" Third, we let ourselves get wrapped up in what others around us might think. "Well, we've already said this is what we are doing. What if they (everyone involved in your life) think we are making the wrong decision." We've come to realize, God's way is always best and He is the One we should be concerned with, not everyone around us.
During December and January, Andrew and I both began to realize that we didn't seem to have a true peace about the path to Ethiopia. We wanted to do it, we saw the need and wanted to say this is the way we need to go, but we just couldn't take the next step. When you want to do something so badly and you can't find the strength or courage to move forward, I think that is a huge red flag. (I'm not just talking about fear, either, because I think fear is a constant in any area of adoption. You can have peace in the midst of fear, but when that peace isn't there, that is when, I think you need to start seeking and see if this is really the path God has for you.) We continued to pray about it and talk about it and we finally realized that there were things about the Ethiopia process that we felt just wasn't for us. We still think there is a HUGE need in Ethiopia, and we are still praying for the precious orphans there!
So, you may be asking, what is the new plan? Well, it really isn't that new, its actually the original plan that started all of this in motion to begin with. Many of you know that about 7 years ago I spent some time in an orphanage in China. It was those 2 amazingly heartbreaking weeks that started the adoption seed growing in my heart. When Andrew and I first talked about adoption, while we were dating, it was specifically China that we talked about and the seed began to take root in his heart as well. However, one of the qualifications to adopt from China is, you must be 30. My amazing husband, isn't quite there. :) So, we thought, we'll adopt from somewhere else, first, and then adopt from China when we adopt the 2nd time. Well, what we've realized is that its going to take us a while to raise the funds to be able to afford this adoption journey. By the time we have raised the money, it will more than likely be close enough to time to start the paperwork. So, after much prayer and consideration, we decided to just continue to raise the money we need, and move forward with China when the time is right.
There is a 2nd part of this decision. It is the decision to step way outside of our comfort zone and really put our faith where our actions are. We have always said, "I don't think I could ever do foster care. It would be too hard if you have to give them up." Well, we felt that God was working on our hearts in this area as well. As if He was asking us, do you really trust me, do you really trust my sovereignty? This is something I will probably write a completely different blog about in the near future, because all of a sudden God has given me this passion about being willing to lay aside your fears and worries about being hurt, in order to help someone who is already hurting, through no fault of their own. Why is it okay for us to say, "I can't do that, it'll hurt too much" when their are babies and children out there that just need to be loved and they have no control over their circumstances. Anyway, I'll expound more on that later, just know its something that has taken very deep root in my heart.
So, basically, our new plan is two fold, one for the future and one for the present. Right now, we are starting the process to do foster-to-adopt. When Andrew turns 30, Lord willing, we will begin our journey to China. After the last several months, I know that we really never know what the future may hold. Our job is just to be open to where He is leading us.
Through the foster-to-adopt program, we could have a baby placed in our home in less than 4 months! That has us very excited, and very, very, busy!!
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