So, I saw a plaque the other day that said something I need to be reminded of from time to time, or possibly every day...this is not word for word, but basically it said: Trusting God means trusting His timing! How true that is in our lives everyday, but especially during this "Paper Pregnancy." If it was up to me and my timing, I would have turned in ALL of this paperwork about 2 weeks ago. Its just about ready, and what isn't completed is just what I've been putting off, because I know we can't turn it in yet. I guess something about it being completely filled out and just sitting seems worse than almost filled out and sitting. So, why haven't we turned it in, you may be asking, or maybe not, but if you are reading this, you are probably wondering...we just don't have the funds to go with it yet. I'm not too, terribly discouraged by that, I truly do believe God will provide and I trust that He'll make a way, but where I have a break-down in my trust from time to time is trusting that His timing is right and good and PERFECT. I am finding it very difficult to sit and wait and TRUST, when I think about our children being out there.
Oh, and yes, that isn't a misprint, we have been praying about and seriously discussing pursuing a sibling group. Which means, that one of our children very well could be alive and living in Ethiopia right now. As a mother-to-be, that is both very difficult and incredible to think about. To know that half way around the world, your first born could be living his/her first year or so without you, and you are sitting at home waiting to raise the funds to go get him/her. Can you see why I wish I could've turned that paperwork in 2 weeks ago...but I also know that God is working all things together and when we see the end and we have these precious babies in our arms, we'll know that His way and His TIMING is PERFECT! Father, help me to remember that when my heart is aching to do all that I can physically do to bring home these precious babies you have placed in our hearts. Hold them in your loving care, keep them safe and help them to know that their Mommy and Daddy love them even now, even before we know who they are. Please bring us all safely together in your time. Thank you for loving us and for loving them, and for bringing us together to be the family you want us to be. May our lives and our family always glorify and point others to You!
No promises, but I am going to try to get better at this blogging thing. Several times a week, I sit down to blog, and think...no one would want to hear about that...so, who knows. We'll see how it goes. :)
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